According to Gurdjieff’s cosmology, the universe exists as the result of creative forces descending from finer to heavier density, coalescing in organized worlds along the way. In this Creation, an ascending force must return to the source; otherwise, the energy of the source would be exhausted. Do we have a place in these vast movements?
Gurdjieff posits that men and women have the potential to participate in more than one world and thus serve both the descending creative current and the ascending current of return. We serve the descending current as we live our ordinary lives, a horizontal movement; we serve the ascending current when we open to the flow of a finer energy within us, a vertical movement. Might we be able to participate in the world we “know” – the horizontal -- and in the world above us – the vertical? Might we learn to live between two worlds?
Might we be able to participate in the world we “know” – the horizontal -- and in the world above us – the vertical?
The Horizontal – The World in Which We Live
Physically, we are one of many species living on the Earth. How do we see our place in this life? How do we act in this life? We believe that we are the superior, most intelligent life form on earth. We engage in numerous activities; we develop relationships with others, pursue careers, and enjoy what we can. We form opinions, judgments, and ideas about ourselves.
When we reach adulthood, we have an idea of who we are. I believe I am who I think I am. Who I think I am is who I imagine myself to be. I am a certain somebody, a separate individual, a person who deserves respect. I am myself – the self that I imagine myself to be.
I believe I am who I think I am. Who I think I am is who I imagine myself to be. But I don't really know who I am.
But I don’t really know who or what am. This ambiguity affects how I live. I participate in this world by continually seeking affirmation of what I imagine myself to be. I am influenced by and react to everything, every impression from the outer world and from within me. I react either positively or negatively as I perceive the impression that supports or disapproves my self-image. There is an undercurrent of anxiety
According to the Gurdjieff teaching, my belief that I am what I imagine myself to be is illusory. Looking down from above, we would see a human, moving about – a person with a superficial awareness, living life automatically, with no understanding of the purpose and meaning of life – a person doing something all the time in order to support an idea that she has value.
As we ordinarily are, this is how we serve Nature, participating in the wondrous, unfolding forces of Creation. But are we called to be more, to play a more conscious, sensitive role in this horizontal life and also to fulfill a role in the vertical movement of life forces?
The Possibility of Serving Two Worlds
In our ordinary state of being, we may, from time to time, instinctively feel that there is another way of being that is freer, more conscious, with greater purpose and meaning. We are not fully developed. We have reached a plateau: we can live automatically and serve certain needs of nature. This is necessary, but is something missing?
Some hear this feeling of lack as a call to search for what is missing, a call to develop beyond our ordinary state of being. It is a call to seek a life on a higher level than we experience. A modification in our ordinary manner of living will occur naturally in the process of opening to a level of being that is sensitive to finer energy and perceptions.
A modification in our ordinary manner of living will occur naturally in the process of opening to a level of being that is sensitive to finer energy and perceptions.
When I first found the Work, I instinctively knew already that something was amiss. I sensed I had found a teaching that would help me. So naturally, I asked, “Tell me what to do.” Unwittingly and unavoidably, I had stumbled into one of the primary obstacles to awakening.
Gurdjieff said that as we are, we are machines; everything happens to us; we cannot do anything. Yet, something is required of us if we wish to evolve beyond the level of automatism.
Self-Observation
The path toward awakening to a freer, conscious level of being begins with self-observation. Self-observation is the objective observation of oneself without judgment or analysis.
One of the greatest obstacles to transcendence is the ordinary belief that we can do. In the Work, tasks are given to help us observe ourselves. I might set a daily plan to remind myself to do the task, partially motivated by a wish to have something to bring to the next group meeting. When I see a truth about myself -- for example, feeling anxious when talking to a stranger -- I feel pleased with myself. I believe that I understand the approach, I believe that that I know.
I have seen something important about myself, but my solution is to try to change it myself.
I immediately grasp what I have seen with my accustomed way of thinking and decide that I will not be anxious when talking with strangers. I then set about trying to change the habitual way I speak with strangers to another habitual way, to be a better person as I imagine myself to be. I am working on an ordinary level. I have seen something important about myself, but my solution is to try to change it myself. This approach reflects a common misunderstanding.
At the beginning, it is natural to try to change myself with my mind – a learned habit. But I cannot use my usual methods to discover a new way of living, of being. Impossible! As Jesus said, "Nor do people put new wine into old wineskins; otherwise, the wineskins burst, and the wine pours out and the wineskins are ruined; but they put new wine into fresh wineskins, and both are preserved." (Matthew 9:17)
What is happening when I observe myself? In a moment, a flash, I see myself as I am. In that moment, a finer energy of objective conscious shines upon my life. I experience a taste of the quality of that energy while witnessing the manner of my living in that moment, as though a spot light has focused on me. For example, I might see myself automatically washing the dishes while dreaming needlessly, reliving the emotions and tensions that resulted from a stranger honking his horn at me on the drive home. A taste of the quality of seeing myself registers within while I see myself captivated by that event. When I see myself captivated by imagination, I realize the futility of this use of my vital energy and, in the future, I instinctively search for ways not to be so affected by the manifestations of others, not by modifying my behavior to be a better person, not by reacting, but by accepting the impression of anger and judgment coming from another and being in the moment.
My life’s energy, which moves through mechanical, reactive forms in a closed circuit, becomes permeable, allowing inner space for the flow and influence of higher consciousness and intelligence.
From the practice of self-observation without judgment or analysis, I learn to accept the movements of my life impartially. Through acceptance, I am able to respond to life’s moments with greater intelligence and care. My life’s energy, which moves through mechanical, reactive forms in a closed circuit, becomes permeable, allowing inner space for the flow and influence of higher consciousness and intelligence. This change happens necessarily, not from something I do to make myself better, but as an inevitable consequence of inner work, beginning with impartial self-observation, of an inner seeing. With this new flow of energy, I feel that I am coming back to myself. A sense of presence emerges.
The Still, Silent Space
Coming back to myself brings an inner relaxation that opens to a still, silent space within. In these conditions, a possibility of not immediately identifying or attaching to the next thought or emotion arises. In this still, silent space, I allow the finer energy to flow into me, not by doing, but by an act of receiving – akin to attentive listening. My ordinary, reactive self submits to a higher intelligence. I feel present in the moment. If I am able to maintain this condition -- an internal work that Gurdjieff calls conscious labors and intentional sufferings -- the center of gravity in my being will shift: the higher becomes active and the lower becomes passive.
In this still, silent space, I allow the finer energy to flow into me, not by doing, but by an act of receiving – akin to attentive listening.
As this new inner hierarchy emerges, I experience moments of feeling –feeling connected to the substance of life around me, of being a receiver, a vehicle for the flow of the finer energy into the physical world. I may become able to truly fulfil Gurdjieff’s maxim: Love everything that breathes. I feel the need to serve this higher purpose, a need to maintain the free flow of this finer, conscious energy within me.
By serving what is higher, I am influenced by the energy and purpose of a higher world, while participating in a new way to serve the lower world of nature, no longer mechanically. I find meaning in serving the needs of both of these worlds. I discover being between the two worlds. I discover who I am.